My mom’s name was Sandy. She lost her battle with cancer on March 2, 2020. The pandemic prevented us from gathering together for a proper memorial so I thought I would put together this little tribute to her life.
My Mom had a positive influence on everyone who knew her. She had a great love for people regardless of where they were in life. She went out of her way to make everyone feel welcomed. Part of her outlook on life came from her deep faith and trust in God; part of it was her upbringing. Mom had a a sign hanging over her front door that read “Come as strangers. Leave as Friends”. That pretty much summed up her attitude towards people.
The Early Years
Mom was born in 1935 in Hudson, Massachusetts to Carl and Helen. Carl’s family immigrated to America from Sweden in the early 1900s. Helen’s family was French Canadian. Carl was a mechanic and Helen was a homemaker busy raising my Mom and Mom’s two younger brothers.
Like most depression-era families, Mom’s family struggled to make ends meet. Carl moved the family several times in the 1940s to track down work. They went from Hudson to Wakefield to Harvard Massachusetts in the span of 10 years.
After graduating from The Bromfield School in Harvard, Mom went on to get her Nursing degree at Massachusetts General Hospital. Mom had a passion for helping others so nursing was the perfect fit for her. In the mid-1950s, Carl and Helen moved the family to Seminole, Florida. Mom would eventually move down also and become a nurse for a department store in Tampa.
Married Life
While working at the department store, Mom met my Dad, Jim. Dad was a dashing young Naval Officer and Mom was a smart, beautiful nurse. They were a perfect match and were married in 1960.
Dad’s job would take the family to New Jersey where we lived for over 20 years. Mom really didn’t care much for New Jersey at first. It was nothing like sunny Florida and she hated being away from her family. But eventually she grew to love the area and everything it had to offer.
Motherhood
Sandy was the most caring, loving mother anyone could ask for. She loved being a mom. She spent most of her time in the1960s taking care of her family as a homemaker.
Businesswoman
In those early years, Mom loved being a wife, mother, homemaker and active member of the New Jersey social life. But she also had asperations in the business world as well. In the early 1970s she converted her love for antiques and history into a business. She opened Sandy Bee’s Antiques in a small storefront in our home town. Sandy Bee would be the name by which she would be known for the rest of her life.
Sandy Bee’s Antiques would become quite popular among collectors in the New Jersey/New York area. She would eventually lease several farmhouses in the next town over to expand her business. In addition to antiques, she opened up an old-time Country Store that offered everything from craft items to penny candy. Dad eventually left the corporate world to join her in her business.
Loving Life
Throughout the 1970s and 1980s, Mom balanced business, family and fun. She loved reading, boating and being with her family. She loved to make her home warm and welcoming. Some of my best memories are the camping trips we all took to upstate New York.
Heritage
Mom always appreciated her heritage. She wanted to know everything about my Dad’s ancestry and her own Swedish roots. After years of research, she tracked down her Dad Carl’s relatives in Sweden. This began a rich and warm friendship with her Swedish family that lasted until her passing. In the 1990s, she was able to make several trips to Sweden to connect with her distant family members. This was one of the great highlights of her life.
Grandma
In 1996, Mom and Dad moved back to Florida so Mom could take care of her ailing mother, Helen. The 1990s also saw my Mom become a Grandmother several times over. She would eventually have a Grandson and three Granddaughters who she adored all equally. She was just as devoted and loving a Grandmother as she was a mother.
Devoted Wife
Through it all, she was most devoted to her husband Jim. Mom and Dad were true soulmates. They spent their entire married life loving and supporting one another in all life’s struggles and joys. In 2010, Sandy and Jim celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary with family and friends at the Columbia Restaurant in Tampa, Florida.
Loving Matriarch
Mom loved her family with unselfish enthusiasm. When making a meal or hosting an event, she would invariably downplay it by saying “nothing fancy” then proceed to pull out all the stops with an extravagant spread. This happened so many times it turned into a great family joke we all loved to repeat.
It didn’t matter if she was having a bad day or didn’t feel well, she was always happy to see her family. She had a wonderful ability to make you feel special and loved.
Christ-Centered
Mom had accepted Christ as her Savior at an early age and she had an ever growing love for the Lord throughout her life. Mom and Dad were both heavily involved in their church. They both had a heart for service which they put into action most of their adult life.
My Mom’s strong faith in God would be instrumental as she moved into the next chapter of her life.
A Big Surprise
In 2015, Doctors found a benign tumor in Mom’s heart called a myxoma. It didn’t pose an immediate danger, but her Doctor was concerned that it might break apart and cause complications. The decision was made to have open-heart surgery to remove it.
The real surprise came when Mom was getting her pre-surgical tests. One of the tests would lead the Doctors to discover Mom also had uterine cancer. The logical next step was to remove it but Doctors feared that the heart tumor might dislodge during the surgery. The only option was to go ahead with the heart surgery and deal with the uterine cancer later.
Mom had open-heart surgery in November 2016 to remove the tumor. The surgery was a success and the tumor was removed. After a few weeks in recovery and rehab, she was able to go home.
Sometime after her surgery, Mom began radiation treatments for the uterine cancer which reduced its rate of growth but did not destroy it.
The Final Years
Mom knew full well her uterine cancer was terminal. The open-heart surgery left her too weak to have another major surgery to remove the cancer. Chemotherapy was not an option either. The radiation treatments she received bought her little more than time. But we were all grateful for that time, especially Mom.
What I will always remember about those last couple of years was Mom’s loving spirit never changed. I never heard her complain. There was definitely a noticeable decline in her stamina. She would grow tired more quickly just doing everyday tasks, but she would blow it off with a smile and keep going the best she could.
In 2019, Dad had some health issues of his own. Doctors had found a cancerous tumor on his lung earlier in the year. In October, he underwent surgery to take care of that. Since he was Mom’s primary care giver, I decided to stay with her while Dad recovered from his surgery. Mom was still doing her normal daily routine at this point but I could tell she was slowing down.
One morning, Mom woke up feeling worse than usual. I decided to take her to the Emergency Room at the same hospital where my Dad was recovering three floors above. When all the tests were run, the Doctor came in and told us Mom would need to be admitted – the cancer had spread.
The next couple of weeks proved to be pretty interesting. I would spend each day going from Dad’s room at one end of the hospital to Mom’s room at the other. I certainly got to know all the staff quite well. When Dad was feeling a bit better, he would wheel his chair down multiple times a day to be with Mom.
Eventually, the hospital allowed Mom and Dad to move into the same recovery room to be closer to each other. This turned out to be such a blessing for both of them. The video below was from their room in November 2019.
Finally, as I said in the beginning, Mom went home to be with the Lord on Monday March 2, 2020 with her loving husband and family by her side. I am so grateful I got a chance to pray with her one last time. Her last words were “it’s time, tell everyone how much I love them”
Bye Mom. We all love you too. See you soon.